maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
