She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
