Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
