please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
