i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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