I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
