happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
