Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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