you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize