You're so nebulous sometimes
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
