You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
