My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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