Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish you could order shots online.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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