i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
