If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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