I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize