But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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