I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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