I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
