oh god the rape fog is back!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
