i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
