he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
