I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
