shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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