some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
