Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You're a waste of cheezeits
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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