It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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