I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
