dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
