Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
4 words: hood of his car
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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