why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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