I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
