His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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