oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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