Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
