Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
