dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
