im holly from the hills drunk
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
