You're so nebulous sometimes
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
