i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
