I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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