please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
