I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
