I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
