I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize