glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
