Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
it's great music for shaving your balls
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
