Im at strip club and am horny
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
