I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
