Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
