you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
