party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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