if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
