Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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