similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
