When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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