...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
