i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
