Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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