summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
