My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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