he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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