he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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