sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
