Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i think my cat just said my name.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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